Saturday, April 3, 2010

NaPoWriMo #3 - My Deepest Fear

NaPoWriMo #3 - scared yet?  (from ReadWrite Poem)
It’s daunting to take on a commitment as large as NaPoWriMo, but here you are. Today is Day 3, and you are facing your fears. RWP member Joseph Harker thinks there’s a poem in that; here’s his prompt for you:


Write about something that scares you. It could be tarantulas or your significant other cheating on you or an existential fear of the unknown so long as it unsettles you. Describe it in the most vivid language possible!

Sometimes by articulating our fears, we strip them of their power. (But don’t go too far! A little fear is good to have.)

My Deepest Fear

Writhing and slithering,
They claim their territory –
The grasses and rocks surrounding our home.
They lived here first.
They strike at foreign movements injecting
Deadly poison into unwanted intruders.
Although much smaller than their victims,
Their very presence elicits fear and respect
From larger beings,
Rendering them safe…
An attribute I desire, but cannot possess.
I’m mesmerized by their abilities.
I wonder why my safety is less valuable than theirs.

I was three; small.
The mother led me by the hand.
He was the new grandfather – one of many –
My fear, unfounded, so the mother said.
The mother and grandmother left me there –
As they would many times -
so they could drink and dance…
Small lamb led to slaughter –
Isaac led by Abraham –
Where was God when I was sacrificed?
My bite held no poison…
The larger being had no fear.

I fear pain -
Not pain that remains
as multi-colored bruises on tiny limbs,
Those have healed, although I can’t forget –
I fear pain that lingers in hugs
that hold too long and close,
Kisses bordering from friendly to intense,
Compliments tempting trust –
I fear what follows…
I fear the pain of wondering what the child is worth –
The small child huddling in the darkness of my soul
Awaiting safety still…
Where was God when that child was sacrificed?
That remains my deepest fear!

©Bridget Nutting , 2010


This was not my original intent, but as I wrote this seemed to develop a life of its own.  I am often amazed at the power of poetry/writing to unleash pain we thought was healed long ago.  The work is never finished...the process continues.

Blessings on your day!

1 comment:

one more believer said...

it is beautiful and glad you let this see the light... fear can be so overwhelming and paralyzing even to the smallest of little girls... cherished by all.... happy 3!!! in posse